Thanksgiving is about gratitude, good food, and the people we love. For someone in recovery, it can also be one of the hardest days of the year.
If you’re hosting a loved one in recovery this year, you might be wondering what to do, what to say, or whether to change anything at all. The good news is that small, thoughtful choices can make a big difference. You don’t need to rearrange the whole holiday. You just need to make room for everyone at the table.
Why the Holidays Can Be Hard in Recovery
For many families, alcohol is part of the holiday routine: wine with dinner, beer during the game, a toast before dessert. For someone in recovery, being around it all day can be a real challenge.
Drinks aren’t the only trigger. Holidays can also bring up old family tension, stress from travel and cooking, memories of past holidays, grief for people who are missing, and pressure to act like everything is fine. A little awareness from the people hosting can go a long way.
Simple Ways to Make Your Table Welcoming
Ask, don’t assume. Every recovery is different. Before the big day, check in privately: “Is there anything that would make Thanksgiving easier for you this year?” Then follow their lead.
Offer great non-alcoholic drinks. Sparkling cider or a cranberry spritzer lets everyone raise a glass for the toast, and no one has to feel singled out.
Keep alcohol in the background. If you’re serving it, keep bottles in the kitchen instead of on the table, and skip the “one more round” pressure.
Plan something to do. A walk after dinner, a card game, or football in the yard gives people a way to connect that isn’t centered on drinking.
Make leaving easy. Let your loved one know it’s fine to arrive late, leave early, or step outside for a break. Having an easy way out often makes it easier to stay.
Keep Narcan on hand. If anyone at your gathering uses opioids, having Narcan in the house is a simple safety step. Counseling Services of Lancaster can provide it free of charge, no questions asked.
What to Say, and What to Skip
A good rule of thumb: treat your loved one the way you’d treat any other guest. Skip questions like “Why aren’t you drinking?” and comments like “Just one won’t hurt.” And don’t bring up past holidays or old mistakes in front of the group.
Instead, try something simple: “I’m really glad you’re here.” Then ask about their work, their kids, or what’s new in their life. If a relative starts crossing a line, a quick redirect helps: “Hey, can you help me carve the turkey?”
If the Day Gets Hard
Even with the best planning, holidays don't always go smoothly. Your loved one might seem quiet, leave early, or have a tough moment. That doesn't mean your effort didn't matter, or that their recovery isn't working.
If something does go wrong, respond privately and with care. A calm "I'm here for you" will do more good than a lecture. Recovery isn't a straight line, and setbacks don't erase progress.
Support Is Here in Lancaster County
You don't have to figure this out alone. Counseling Services of Lancaster offers confidential outpatient treatment, counseling, and peer support from specialists with their own lived recovery experience. Services are available to adults and adolescents, regardless of ability to pay, with translation in more than 200 languages.
This Thanksgiving, the best gift you can give is a seat at the table and a little understanding. If you or someone you love needs support this holiday season, reach out to us here or call (803) 285-6911. We're ready to listen.
