What To Do If You Suspect Your Teen Is Misusing: Next Steps and Available Support
October is Substance Use & Misuse Prevention Month, a time dedicated to raising awareness, breaking stigma, and strengthening our communities through education and prevention. For many parents, this month serves as a reminder of one of their deepest fears: discovering their teen may be experimenting with alcohol, vaping, or other drugs.
The truth is, suspicion alone can feel overwhelming. You may notice subtle changes—slipping grades, mood swings, new friend groups, or secrecy—and wonder if it’s just “normal teen behavior” or something more serious. The uncertainty can create fear, frustration, and even guilt. But here’s the good news: if you’re asking the question, you’re already taking the first step toward prevention and support.
This blog will guide you through what to do if you suspect your teen is misusing substances, how to approach the situation, and what resources are available here in Lancaster to help.
Step 1: Stay Calm and Gather Information
Your first instinct may be to confront your teen immediately. While urgency is understandable, taking a breath before you react is critical. Jumping into an emotionally charged conversation can push your teen away, causing them to hide their behavior more deeply.
Instead, start by observing. Keep track of the changes you’ve noticed:
Are there physical signs, like bloodshot eyes, frequent cough, or unusual smells on clothing?
Have you noticed changes in sleep patterns, appetite, or hygiene?
Are grades slipping or extracurricular activities being abandoned?
Are there new friends or secretive behaviors you’ve never seen before?
Write down what you’re observing so you can approach your teen with specific examples later.
Step 2: Open a Non-Judgmental Conversation
When you feel ready, choose a time and place where you and your teen can talk privately without distractions. Keep your tone calm and caring, not accusatory. Remember: your goal is not to punish but to understand and protect.
You might start with:
“I’ve noticed some changes in your behavior and I’m worried. Can we talk about what’s going on?”
“I want you to know you can always come to me if you’re stressed, upset, or feeling pressured.”
Avoid scare tactics or yelling—these often backfire. Teens are more likely to open up when they feel safe and respected, even if the truth is difficult to hear.
Step 3: Listen More Than You Talk
Parents often go into these conversations with long lectures, but what teens need most is to feel heard. If your teen admits to experimenting with substances, resist the urge to interrupt or punish right away. Instead, listen to why.
Are they coping with stress, anxiety, or depression?
Are they curious or influenced by peer pressure?
Do they feel like substances are an escape?
Understanding the “why” is essential to providing the right support. Once your teen shares, you can set boundaries and consequences—but with the assurance that you are on their side.
Step 4: Educate Without Lecturing
Knowledge is a powerful prevention tool. Use this opportunity to share age-appropriate facts about substance use. For example:
Alcohol use before the age of 21 can interfere with brain development and increase the risk of addiction later in life.
Nicotine in vapes is highly addictive and can damage concentration and lung health.
Misusing prescription opioids is dangerous—even one misuse can lead to dependence or overdose.
Frame these facts around concern for their future rather than fear or punishment. Teens are more likely to listen when they feel the conversation is about protecting them, not controlling them.
Step 5: Set Clear Expectations and Boundaries
Teens need structure, even when they push against it. After the conversation, be clear about your household rules and expectations regarding substances. Let your teen know the consequences if those rules are broken—but also emphasize that your love and support are unwavering.
Consistency is key. Teens who know their parents disapprove of underage drinking or drug use are less likely to engage in it. Setting limits doesn’t mean you don’t trust them—it shows you care deeply about their safety and future.
Step 6: Reach Out for Support
Parenting through this challenge is not something you have to do alone. Community resources and professional support can make all the difference. Counseling, support groups, and prevention programs are designed not only for teens but also for families navigating this journey.
At Counseling Services of Lancaster, we provide judgment-free, compassionate care. Whether it’s prevention education, early intervention, or ongoing treatment, our team is here to walk alongside you and your teen every step of the way.
Step 7: Focus on Prevention Moving Forward
Even if you discover your teen is not currently using substances, suspicion can be a valuable wake-up call. Prevention is most effective when it is proactive, not reactive. Continue building protective factors in your home and community:
Encourage healthy activities like sports, arts, or volunteering.
Spend consistent quality time as a family.
Teach coping skills for stress and anxiety.
Stay involved with your teen’s friends, school, and social life.
By fostering connection and communication, you’re creating an environment that makes substance misuse less likely.
October reminds us that Substance Use & Misuse Prevention Month is not just about statistics—it’s about families, conversations, and communities coming together. Suspecting your teen may be using substances can feel frightening, but it’s also an opportunity: an opportunity to connect, guide, and get support.
No matter where you are on this journey, remember that you are not alone. Lancaster is a community that cares, and resources are available to help both you and your teen move forward with hope.
If you believe your teen is struggling with substance misuse, reach out to us today. You’ll be met with a community of people that are judgement-free and ready to help.
